He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
