I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
