I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
