I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
