I skipped work to stalk him.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
