I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
