he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
