Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I intend to get homeless drunk
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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