i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
