i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
