Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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