Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
