i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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