you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
