and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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