Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize