I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
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I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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