you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I need moral support for this bender
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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