was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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