Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
