I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
