Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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