Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
