we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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