ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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