physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
