So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
