The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
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he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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