yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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