"it" just moved
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
