you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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