Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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