A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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