I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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