Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
