it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
