she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
