Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
4 words: hood of his car
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
