I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
