4 words: hood of his car
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
