You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
