im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize