you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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