I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
