omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize
