Ambien. No doubt about it.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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