Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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