god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
