At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
