I can tuck mytits in my pants
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
