fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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