from now on my penis is your penis
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
