She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
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You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
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Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I need a beard to bite.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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