Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
