I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
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I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
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I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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