Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
