I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
