Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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