I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
